Ladies, Try a Little Tenderness?

Cuddling and caressing help boost satisfaction in long-term relationships, according to a new study of couples.

The study also found that tenderness is more important to men than to women, that men are more likely to report being happy in their relationship, and that women are more likely to be satisfied with their sexual relationship, said the researchers from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.

Best When You Both Work?

Could it be that when both husbands and wives have a purpose outside the home, they're more comfortable together inside the home? Or maybe the age-old adage that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true. For better or worse, researchers from both the University of California-Los Angeles and Utrecht University in the Netherlands found that the happiest marriages involve husbands and wives who are both stimulated by challenging jobs.

Is Your Relationship Wilting?

“A relationship flourishes in enriched soil,” says Aline P. Zoldbrod, PhD, a Boston-based certified sex therapist and a member of the faculty of the University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program. But if you uproot your marriage and repot it in sand by not making time for each other or spending too much time fighting, it runs the risk of wilting away.

“Between work obligations and kid obligations, the only ‘we’ time couples have together feels more like a corporate board meeting than an intimate conversation between friends or lovers,” Zoldbrod says. “In an un-emotional climate like this, deeply satisfying sex is impossible.”

What needs to happen to resolve this marriage problem: Make time to do exciting things together. Hire babysitters, take a weekend away without the kids, or get tickets to an interesting place or event.

Go Ahead, Argue

Avoiding arguments does a marriage no favors, according to recent research. Although couples fight when their marriages are failing, research suggests that arguments are not in themselves symptoms of bad marriages; rather, it is destructive arguments that bring couples down. Quarrelling well is the best remedy.

Every argument has one virtue: like a volcano, it releases pressure. Some rows are cathartic, others make fine foreplay. Many also uncover a point of conflict, clarifying feelings about issues and communicating them unambiguously to a spouse.

If a couple knows how to argue well, their marriage will improve. Marriage expert John Gottman concluded from his extensive studies of newlyweds that those who started their marriage refusing to tolerate "negativity --- those who insisted on gently confronting each other when, say, the other was contemptuous or defensive – wound up happy and satisfied years later."

Obsolete or Just Evolving?

A recent Pew Research Center survey showed that 39 percent of respondents believe marriage is becoming obsolete. That's a dire prediction, but is it true?

“I don’t think marriage is a dying institution,” says Carolyn Kaufman, PsyD, an assistant professor of psychology at Columbus State Community College in Ohio. “I do, however, think that the way we see marriage is changing. What most people don’t realize is that the way we see marriage has changed many times in the past. There was a time marriage was all about securing an heir with a particular heritage or about a man getting a particular woman’s dowry. Marriage is a constantly evolving concept.”

Right At Your Fingertips

The same sex-triggered hormones that make your skin glow also make our nails strong, which means less splitting and breaking and longer-lasting manicures.

Text Instead of Sending Flowers?

The New York Post quotes a psychologist who points out "Texting and all the social networking that's happening... creates anticipation."

So does that mean that tidbits of stilted, typo-ridden correspondence may actually heat things up through titillating interaction? Apparently.

The Post points out that social networking gets couples ready for romance, so maybe put down that bouquet of flowers and pick up your phone and start texting.

Valentine's by the Numbers

A new spending survey from the National Retail Federation reports that Americans who celebrate Valentine's Day are planning to spend $116.21, an 11% jump from last year's $103. And the Washington, D.C.-based trade group says it anticipates total spending for the Feb. 14 holiday to reach $15.7 billion.

Get Out

Research shows that having children can decrease marital happiness and the quality of a couple’s relationship. According to an eight-year study at the University of Denver and Texas A&M, 90 percent of 218 couples experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born.

Terry Real, a Boston-based marriage and family therapist, and author of The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work, suggests dating your spouse.

Apparently it's good for children to see parents go off for the weekend and leave them at home, orjust go out on a Friday night. It's a tremendous inoculation against marriage failure down the pike to put a little time and energy into marriage all the way through.

That's a great reason to get a babysitter and make a date.

Valentine's Is For Lovers

We've been hard at work selecting this year's Valentine's Surprise. With so many new products to choose from, and feedback from our members, we think we've done good!

Three years after the first Valentine's Surprise launched, we never tire of trying to make sure our members are delighted when they open their packages, and never more so than when it comes to a holiday that's made for lovers.

Better Than Hair Plugs

Hormones not only control our sex drives but also the condition of our hair. Research has shown that a satisfying sex life results in healthy, lush hair due to the body's increased ability to receive and metabolize nutrients efficiently.