Ladies, Try a Little Tenderness?

Cuddling and caressing help boost satisfaction in long-term relationships, according to a new study of couples.

The study also found that tenderness is more important to men than to women, that men are more likely to report being happy in their relationship, and that women are more likely to be satisfied with their sexual relationship, said the researchers from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.

Best When You Both Work?

Could it be that when both husbands and wives have a purpose outside the home, they're more comfortable together inside the home? Or maybe the age-old adage that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true. For better or worse, researchers from both the University of California-Los Angeles and Utrecht University in the Netherlands found that the happiest marriages involve husbands and wives who are both stimulated by challenging jobs.

Is Your Relationship Wilting?

“A relationship flourishes in enriched soil,” says Aline P. Zoldbrod, PhD, a Boston-based certified sex therapist and a member of the faculty of the University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program. But if you uproot your marriage and repot it in sand by not making time for each other or spending too much time fighting, it runs the risk of wilting away.

“Between work obligations and kid obligations, the only ‘we’ time couples have together feels more like a corporate board meeting than an intimate conversation between friends or lovers,” Zoldbrod says. “In an un-emotional climate like this, deeply satisfying sex is impossible.”

What needs to happen to resolve this marriage problem: Make time to do exciting things together. Hire babysitters, take a weekend away without the kids, or get tickets to an interesting place or event.

Go Ahead, Argue

Avoiding arguments does a marriage no favors, according to recent research. Although couples fight when their marriages are failing, research suggests that arguments are not in themselves symptoms of bad marriages; rather, it is destructive arguments that bring couples down. Quarrelling well is the best remedy.

Every argument has one virtue: like a volcano, it releases pressure. Some rows are cathartic, others make fine foreplay. Many also uncover a point of conflict, clarifying feelings about issues and communicating them unambiguously to a spouse.

If a couple knows how to argue well, their marriage will improve. Marriage expert John Gottman concluded from his extensive studies of newlyweds that those who started their marriage refusing to tolerate "negativity --- those who insisted on gently confronting each other when, say, the other was contemptuous or defensive – wound up happy and satisfied years later."

Obsolete or Just Evolving?

A recent Pew Research Center survey showed that 39 percent of respondents believe marriage is becoming obsolete. That's a dire prediction, but is it true?

“I don’t think marriage is a dying institution,” says Carolyn Kaufman, PsyD, an assistant professor of psychology at Columbus State Community College in Ohio. “I do, however, think that the way we see marriage is changing. What most people don’t realize is that the way we see marriage has changed many times in the past. There was a time marriage was all about securing an heir with a particular heritage or about a man getting a particular woman’s dowry. Marriage is a constantly evolving concept.”

Right At Your Fingertips

The same sex-triggered hormones that make your skin glow also make our nails strong, which means less splitting and breaking and longer-lasting manicures.

Text Instead of Sending Flowers?

The New York Post quotes a psychologist who points out "Texting and all the social networking that's happening... creates anticipation."

So does that mean that tidbits of stilted, typo-ridden correspondence may actually heat things up through titillating interaction? Apparently.

The Post points out that social networking gets couples ready for romance, so maybe put down that bouquet of flowers and pick up your phone and start texting.

Valentine's by the Numbers

A new spending survey from the National Retail Federation reports that Americans who celebrate Valentine's Day are planning to spend $116.21, an 11% jump from last year's $103. And the Washington, D.C.-based trade group says it anticipates total spending for the Feb. 14 holiday to reach $15.7 billion.

Get Out

Research shows that having children can decrease marital happiness and the quality of a couple’s relationship. According to an eight-year study at the University of Denver and Texas A&M, 90 percent of 218 couples experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born.

Terry Real, a Boston-based marriage and family therapist, and author of The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work, suggests dating your spouse.

Apparently it's good for children to see parents go off for the weekend and leave them at home, orjust go out on a Friday night. It's a tremendous inoculation against marriage failure down the pike to put a little time and energy into marriage all the way through.

That's a great reason to get a babysitter and make a date.

Valentine's Is For Lovers

We've been hard at work selecting this year's Valentine's Surprise. With so many new products to choose from, and feedback from our members, we think we've done good!

Three years after the first Valentine's Surprise launched, we never tire of trying to make sure our members are delighted when they open their packages, and never more so than when it comes to a holiday that's made for lovers.

Better Than Hair Plugs

Hormones not only control our sex drives but also the condition of our hair. Research has shown that a satisfying sex life results in healthy, lush hair due to the body's increased ability to receive and metabolize nutrients efficiently.

The New Living Arrangement

According to the Daily Mail, a new survey found a surprising new trend: One in 20 committed couples chooses to live separately. That marks an increase of 40 percent in the last decade.

Holiday Wishes

From all of us at Intimate Surprises, we wish you a wonderful holiday and a joyous new year.

Listen Up!

Tune in this Wednesday when we're on Michelle LeCours talk show. You can listen here
for the interview. Should be fun!!

5 Is The Magic Number

The magic number is 5 (according to Glamour magazine). That's the number of positive interactions you should have with your partner for each fight with him/her. A 5:1 ratio, how are you doing?

The Afterglow Is Just the Beginning

The secret to youth might not be found in a fountain, but between the sheets instead.

Sex increases blood circulation, which helps pump oxygen to our skin resulting in a brighter appearance, which explains that after-sex glow. Sex boosts our natural collagen production, which staves off age spots and sagging. Simply put, more wrinkles in the bed equals fewer wrinkles on your face!

By the Numbers

According to Glamour magazine:

29% of men prefer to have sex with the lights on
31% of men say they sleep in the nude

Sometimes It's the Little Things...

Sometimes it's the little things that make you smile. Just received an order with the following comment:

"I have heard great reviews from a good friend and we are dying to try it out!"

To that new Intimate Surprises customer, thanks so much.

Sometimes It's the Little Things...

Sometimes it's the little things that make you smile. Just received an order with the following comment:

"I have heard great reviews from a good friend and we are dying to try it out!"

To that new Intimate Surprises customer, thanks so much

Conventional wisdom says that love takes time. But researchers have found that the brain process we think of as "falling in love" takes about one-fifth of a second. Yes, 1/5 of a second!

Dr. Stephanie Ortigue and her crew have been running scans on the brains and bodies of people who claim to be smitten, and they discovered that the idea of love taking time just isn't supported by science. It's actually a chemical process, a real biological phenomenon. In fact, love takes the effort of 12 different areas of your brain working in tandem.

Everyone talks about how you fall in love with your heart, but sounds like your brain is actually the one in charge!